myBlockchain

What da FAQ?

• It seems you are describing a simple database.
  That's not a question. Also, no, it's a private blockchain.

• Isn't decentralization like super important?
  Nonsense. Who told you that? Are you reading r/conspiracy again? We can't allow decentralization because nobody can be trusted. Denial of service, 51% attacks, selfish mining, coin tracing, weak cyphers, it's a scary world out there! Better run your own coin, turn off the lights and internet and throw away the root credentials to your myBlockchain installation. Read-only access is fine and even recommended so you can verify if your tokens are still there.

• I've tried out myBlockchain, but it's way too fast!
  Not a question either. Gee, what's up with people in this space? We know that millions of transactions per second can be scary to some, especially banks who still call their customers and require them to fax in documents. In myBlockchain, you can limit the rate of transactions per second by requiring verification by a shamefully underpaid human being in your "back office" in the third world, just like you are used to.

• I work for a large financial institution and we feel like we are missing the blockchain boat, but we also don't really want to change anything. What should we do?
  myBlockchain is perfect for you. In fact, most of the applications that you are currently running might already be compatible with myBlockchain. Integration is often just a grep away. Contact our consultants today!

• Would I be happier if I had invented Bitcoin?
  Doesn't matter! Bitcoin is just a fad, like the internet. With myBlockchain, you can be in charge of your own virtual currency, and you won't have to share them with anybody!

• Is myBlockchain censorship resistant?
  Of course! In Bitcoin, if a government shuts down the internet, that will affect Bitcoin users. myBlockchain on the other hand runs on localhost and completely without internet! And because it doesn't waste electricity by design (although such add-ons will be available in the myBlockchain app store), it can run for days on that rusty car battery you found!

• It's not about myBlockchain, it's about the underlying technology!
  Chances are that your bank already forked C++ because they didn't like its open nature, and you now have to pay millions every year to the one guy who knows where all the libraries are.

• Without any limit on blocksize, won't I eventually run out of space and not be able to run my own node anymore?
  MyBlockchain comes with few restrictions by default, feel free to add some yourself, such as long confirmation times or low transactions capacities. If your coin is too much better than Bitcoin it might look suspicious.

• I want to create a variable extract, but the system shuts down and won't reboot. What do I do?
  All mentions of the letters XT, even when part of another word, are banned from myBlockchain. It's to keep the ecosystem healthy.

• Is myBlockchain a commodity, currency, security, asset or stock?
  Yeah, we can totally see how calling it a database would be a lot easier legally, but that's just really uncool. And after having paid us, your legal fees will look like peanuts to you anyway.

• Is it true that the government of Bolivia will use myBlockchain for their land registration records?
  Sure, we sent them an email about it.

• Is myBlockchain safe?
  Plenty of certifications from the world's leading technology companies, universities and governments ensure that hackers will stay away in awe from your myBlockchain installation.

• Can tokens created on top of the myBlockchain framework be used to buy drugs and extort millions from people still running Windows Server 2003?
  No, your Windows Server 2003 is safe from extortion using myBlockchain tokens. We are working on the drugs part, though.

• So many blockchains, how do I keep up?
  Wouldn't it be beautiful if everyone had their own blockchain? Why should there be only one blockchain, that's Marxist! In a capitalist society like ours, banks get to print as much money as they want, and we want to democratize that process. Wouldn't it be beautiful if everyone had as much money as they want, on their own blockchain? You see, we totally understand economics!

• This code doesn't even work! I can't install it!
  You're really bad at this question thing, aren't you? You can't even ask a proper question and expect to be able to install your own blockchain? No worries! We've got you covered. Get in touch with our crack team of FinTech consultants and we'll get your shiny new databas...I mean blockchain up and running in a short 6 months of work.

• Why myBlockchain and not the coin-whose-name-must-not-be-spoken?
  No one has ever gone to jail let alone been passed up for a promotion for using myBlockchain. You wouldn't want to risk your opportunity for a slightly larger cubicle for the chance of world changing innovation, now would you?

• Your whitepaper is not a whitepaper because it is not a PDF!
  You're so good at following instructions! You must have been a real joy as a child. Fine. Here's a poorly produced PDF of our glorious whitepaper.